This is meant to be read in a slightly amused way. It's tone is meant to be slightly tongue-in-cheek. The frustrating thing with this medium is that it isn't easy to explain exactly how these things are meant to be read and spoken. (Be it aloud or by the voice in your mind - when reading poetry I always have a mental voice speaking it to me.)
Perhaps I should get a sound sampler and generate some low sample rate clips of me speaking these things. Anyhow as I said this is meant to be slightly less than serious for the most part.
I will not bend,
I will not break,
I will not stirr,
most certainly not shake.
I will not change,
I will not cheat,
I am not a cad,
and never a rake.
I am just me,
more or less,
and that,
will simply have to do.